Danielle
Zingalis
Long
Essay 2 – Final Draft
Different Sides
of the Same Door
We were always different. As babies and toddlers we were
dressed in matching clothes and had the same hairstyles, but looking the same
and acting the same is so different. I was always the one to walk to my own
speed and Chrissy wasn’t. All that didn’t matter though, it didn’t matter how
different we acted or how different our personalities were, and we were always
inseparable. When I tell people that I am a twin, there is something that
enamors people about that. It’s something they think is so unique and they
always have questions. Who’s older? Are you two similar? Are you best friends?
The hardest question to answer that I get asked a lot is “do you like being a
twin,” it’s such a difficult question to answer. Not difficult because the
answer is no, but because being a twin is something I’ve always been. I don’t
know how to feel about not being a twin, but what I do know is that we are two
total opposites.
Chrissy and I were born on a Saturday via a caesarian
section. My mom told me and Chrissy that when one night when she was lying in
bed, she felt me completely turn my body and becoming in breach. As if having
two babies wasn’t going to be hard enough, I had to turn over and make things
more complicated. I wasn’t even born yet and I was already doing things my own
way. It has always been that way, Chrissy and I have always been different and
we never saw that as a problem, no one did. Being different is what makes us so
great, it’s what makes our relationship so great.
Back when VHS’s were still popular and home videos were
something used to capture major moments, my dad was always there with a camera
in his hands. A few years ago we were watching some home videos and there was
one that seemed to have given me that “ah-ha” moment where I saw I was always
this way. It was Halloween and we were at a school participating in the holiday
activities for the kids. I couldn’t have been more than five years old. The
game that was shown on the video was a representation of musical chairs, instead
of chairs being used there were large paper squares on the floor. The same
concepts applies for the game, once the music stops everyone had to get on a
square. It seemed that I didn’t like the rules because once the music started
playing I went to stand on a square. I didn’t want to play the game by the
rules they had, I was so young and already walking to my own beat. It was
during that time that Chrissy and I were inseparable, we were in the same
preschool class and kindergarten class and all of our time was spent together.
When you spend that much time together, time together at home and countless
hours at school, there is no room for individuality. However, it was during
those truly inseparable moments that our relationship grew. We have the
friendship we have now because of the countless hours we spent together when we
were younger.
It wasn’t until elementary school that they decided to
split us up. As inseparable as we were, the school thought we should be
interacting with other students our age as if the school knew what was best for
me and my sister. Nonetheless we were separated and put into different classes.
Maybe it helped us gain some independence, we were locked at the hip since
birth and maybe a little space did us some good, but I can’t say for sure. All
I know is that whether the school knew what they were doing or not when it came
to our interactions with other students, Chrissy and I were still inseparable
and a different class wasn’t going to change that. We had this connection that
unless you’re a twin, you wouldn’t be able to understand. We didn’t need to be
attached to each other twenty-four seven to know we were best friends. We
didn’t need to be attached to each other to know that the other wasn’t far
away. If I needed her or if she needed me, we weren’t far apart.
By the time we went to High School, we couldn’t be
separated anymore. There wasn’t enough classes and too many students. It was
nice to be able to have a class with my twin again after having being separated
in school for so long. It’s so hard to say for certain when we became the
people we are today, but I do think it’s safe to say that by High School,
Chrissy and I were both set in our ways. During the four High School years that
we shared, we both had the same friends and a few that were just mine or just
hers. It was also during those years that people would refer to Chrissy as “the
nice one” and me as “the mean one,” and I was fine with that. It was the truth.
That was all a part of our personalities, Chrissy has always been a tolerant
and forgiving person, it’s something I love about her. Me, on the other hand, I
was far from forgiving people easily. I always knew how to hold on to a grudge.
I had no tolerance for stupidity or practical jokes. My mom always says that my
humor always has been on a different level than everyone in the family.
I like to think about what may happen before it happens,
especially in a situation I haven’t been in before. I think about the
consequences and the repercussions, I map out everything that could possibly go
wrong and Chrissy is willing to try anything and think later. I really love
that about her. I love that she is so willing to be open about new experiences
and willing to try anything. I am too paranoid to do things like that, I always
think about what could go wrong rather than what could go right. With all my
irrational fears, I think me being slightly paranoid is normal for me, but not
for Chrissy. In a way, because we are so different, we protect each other.
When it comes to being in the dark, having bugs in the
house, having people call me names, I know Chrissy will be there to make sure
that I don’t fall. She’ll sit with me so I won’t be alone when the sun goes
down, she’ll have a napkin ready to kill the bug once she hears me screaming,
and she will never let anyone get away with talking bad about me. I would do
the same for her, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. When she is
willing to dive in head first, I hold her back and tell her to think before she
acts and sometimes it’s okay to dive in head first and she will be there to
give me that push to jump. I never let anyone bad mouth my sister to me in any
way, and if she needed help with anything, I would always help her. We are two
different people, but when it comes to protecting the other we couldn’t be more
alike.
Chrissy is a student at Kean enrolled in the Art and
Education program. Even when she was younger, she always had this amazing
talent for drawing and painting. If she is given an object to draw, she will
draw to par, it will look absolutely stunning. I, on the other hand, don’t have
an artistic bone in my body. In High School, I had to take a drawing class and
she happened to be in the same class with me, she always helped me. She always
sat next to me and helped me with my projects and I was so appreciative. I was
always the more academic type, not the artistic type. I would much rather write
a paper than anything else, writing always came easy to me. Chrissy struggles
when it comes to her writing, she always tries her hardest and then I will take
her papers and look over them and correct them. I like that we are so different
in that artistic and academic way, she uses the left side of her brain and I am
on the right. One of my favorite aspects about our relationship is that we are
different when it comes to how we excel at school. It only shows how different
we truly are and how there isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for each other when we
need help.
I always wonder what our lives would be like if we were
the same, if we thought the same way and acted the same way. Would we be as close
as we are? Would we be able to tolerate each other the way that we do now? It
seems like it would be boring. Who would want a carbon copy of themselves down
to the way we act? Maybe it’s because we are so different that we get along so
well, it would be so strange to have this amazing relationship with her if we
were so alike. I know I can go to her and talk to her about anything and she
will be understanding and calm. With me, it would be completely different. If
she came to me to talk about anything, she knows that whatever answer or advice
I give her will be what she needs to hear and not what she wants to hear. It’s
not always about being the “same” all the time. When people think of twins they
can often think about dressing the same and having the same hairstyle and being
the identical version of the other. That’s not who Chrissy and I are. We may
share the same clothes, but that’s about it. We are so different and we think
so differently, it’s the reason I think we are so close. We balance each other
out and keep each other on steady ground. It’s always about being there for the
other person when they may fall, it’s nice to know I have her to catch me in
case I ever fall and she knows that I would do the same for her.
We are often asked if we are identical twins because we
look so much alike, but we’re not. We are fraternal, everything about us is
different. Everything, but our birthday.
“How do you like being a twin” is the hardest question
that I get asked by people when they meet me and Chrissy or they find out I am
a twin. I’ve always been a twin and I will always be a twin, a question like
that doesn’t have answer. The relationship I have with my sister isn’t something
that can be duplicated and explained in one sitting, we are both complex and
have a complex relationship, but it’s ours. What she and I have, no other set
of twins in the world will have. Our relationship, our bond, it’s can’t be
duplicated.